Boston Charlie

When I think of christmas carols, the first thing to pop into my head is Walt Kelly’s satire “Deck the halls with Boston Charlie” (or was it “Dunk us all in bowls of barley”?).

Bark Us All Bow Wows of Folly

This year my mind wandered to my college days where I watched a fellow student get duct taped to the wall (this was not torture, but an experiment to see if it could be done. It could and he came down). Somehow with that image in my mind I thought about decorating the room with people, and this verse sprang to mind:

Stick the guests to strips of duct tape,
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Those that die are of slow of uptake.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Hang them gleefully round the parlor,
Til they gain a greenish pallor
Fa la la la la la la la la.

Later I was baking

Fill the halls with smells of bakin’
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Now’s the time to make some caken.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Start to use those tasty spices,
While we vow to give up vices.
Fa la la la la la la la la.

And at one point I got annoyed with religion:

Why should I believe the Greek myths? Fa, la, la…
Griping tales by ancient wordsmiths. Fa, la, la…
Zeus, as swan, impregnates mortal? Fa, la, la…
‘Tis a tale to make one chortle. Fa, la, la…

Why should I peruse the bible? Fa, la, la…
Nasty tales of ancient libel¹. Fa, la, la…
God, as ghost, impregnates virgin²? Fa, la, la…
How can I believe this version? Fa, la, la…

¹For instance, Mathew’s claim that Herod slaughtered the innocents is a lie; Luke contradicts it.
²Mathew’s claim that there was an ancient prophecy that the mother of the messiah would be a virgin is another lie (or at best a mistranslation). The original passage to which he refers is not about the messiah (or his mother) and does not mention the word virgin.


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