Disappointment

After the race I was quite disappointed with myself. My time wasn’t embarrassing, but it wasn’t what I felt I should have been able to do. I was thinking I should just give up on the marathon — I seemed to do OK in the half marathon and the 50mile trail, but perhaps the intermediate distance just doesn’t work.

My mother looked at me and said “You are just like your grandmother, never satisfied.” Clearly she has forgotten that at the 50miler last year I was satisfied. When I protested that I was not satisfied because I hadn’t done what I should, she smiled in a superior way and replied “That’s just what your grandmother would say.”

Many people have said: “Well did you finish?” If you finished you should be proud. Others have said “I’d be ecstatic to run that fast.” Well, yes, but you aren’t me. I should be able to do better. (I realize that I’ve used that line myself. It doesn’t work.)

And “You came first in your age-group, you should be happy.” Well that just indicates how poorly most people run. “You got a PR, you should be happy.” And that says how poorly I run.

Rusty said “You didn’t carbo-load properly. Try again.”

Yeah…

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One Response to “Disappointment”

  1. Jim K Says:

    Well, it’s pretty normal. As long as you maintain perpective — check out Cottage Hospital occasionally and imagine the people inside — dissatisfaction is fine. It usually has to do with the quality of the effort — if you felt you could have run better. I don’t think I’ve often heard people unhappy who feel they’re run as well as they could, even if the time was far from what they’d hoped or planned.

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